Ambivalence

A new month! December.

Everything is moving so fast that I have had to pause for a moment, look around, catch a breath and absorb the changes. For one, my schooling is coming to an end. We attended our last class room session on the 3rd of this month. It’s hard to get used to not going to school regularly. And even though I know I have to be mature, understand that life moves on, pass out of 12th, look ahead and bla bla bla, it feels like an essential part of my life is getting over. And let’s be real here, no one likes leaving what they like!

Two. Exams. Well, the usual cribbing about examination begins. We have 2 sets of pre boards, starting from tomorrow and then practicals. Finally, sometime in March, my Board Exams shall begin. And the fact that these exams REALLY DO MATTER, is beginning to get my goat. Oh! The weirdest part. I want to study and do well but I don’t feel like studying anymore. Such contradictions.

Three. Here’s a little introductory note for this point. I have changed several schools. Eight to be precise. And somehow, December turned out to be the month in which all my friends and I start re-conversing. I literally have to keep the phone down 5 minutes into a call saying “I’ve to study. I’ll talk to you soon.” I don’t like saying that. I absolutely do not. Again. Contradictions.

I like this month. It’s one of a kind. But it’s also one in which both types of things are happening. Those that I like and those that I don’t. Now that I think about it, all months are like that. They have their own ups and downs. But this one’s special. A lot closer to my heart 🙂